A single female swinger is normally referred to as a unicorn in the swingers lifestyle because they are so rare. In general, most people into swinging are couples, and those specifically looking for a single female for play are said to be “unicorn hunting”.
When going to lifestyle clubs or local swinger parties, unicorns are highly revered. If you are one of these rare specimens or are considering joining the lifestyle, these guidelines are for you.
Read the Room
Be mindful before approaching a couple and when they approach you. Observe the dynamics between them prior to engaging. If one partner seems enthusiastic and the other doesn’t, you may want to ask more probing questions as interest levels are important. Here are some points to consider:
- When chatting with each other, spend time engaging with both partners.
- If one of the couple is speaking up most of the time, their partner may not be very interested. Ask probing questions of both to make sure everyone is on the same page.
- Have an in-depth discussion about discomfort or potential jealousy concerns beforehand.
Establishing Boundaries and Expectations
As a unicorn, your companionship will be in high demand, so you have the option of being choosy, establishing set boundaries and realizing your own expectations. Throughout the swingers lifestyle, participants also have boundaries with their significant others so make sure to clarify what these are before engaging in play. Establish the “rules” and respect healthy boundaries concerning sexual activity.
A few tips for respecting dynamics include:
- Express your intentions and boundaries clearly, and let the couple do the same.
- Have a set safe words, so everyone knows when discomfort has creeped in or someone wants to stop.
- Respect the couple’s desire for privacy and the dynamics of their relationship, just as much as you do for yourself.
Having and maintaining well-defined expectations and boundaries sets up a structure that allows participants to relax and receive pleasure from the experience.
Steer Clear of Couple Privilege
Single females in the swingers lifestyle need to know that couple privilege is a key factor in unions. It’s crucial for unicorns to recognize the advantage that couples have in the swinger dynamic. To minimize the risks of having couple privilege keep your needs and perspectives unrecognized, it’s vital to be proactive and ensure your voice is heard and that your wishes are respected. Some strategies to counteract this include:
- Identify situations that feel like the couple’s wants and needs are being prioritized over your own.
- Assert yourself and be confident in making decisions that reflect your consent and comfort.
- Don’t let couples pressure you into compromising your wishes at your expense.
- Remember your right to stop or withdraw from the scene anytime the dynamics intrude on your boundaries or personal feelings.
Take Advantage of Your Unicorn Status
Unicorns are a rare breed, but women who take this route must be confident and secure in themselves physically, emotionally and sexually. They are celebrated for being open-minded and their willingness to connect with other swinging couples. Unicorns can quickly become the center of attention and reap most of the rewards of the swingers lifestyle.
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